Flaccus, in any bath you hear applause,
Know that Maro’s penis is the cause.
Galla, I don’t wish to marry you, for you are refined,
While my penis is boorish, and indecently inclined.
Lesbia swears she has never been fucked for free.
It’s true: when she wants to get laid, she pays the fee.
Baccara gave his pecker’s care to a physician,
His rival suitor. Baccara will regret the incision.
So long is your dick and your nose as well
That, whenever you stiffen, that nose can tell!
NO HOLES BARRED
Thais, if you're not ashamed to yield to every lover,
At least be ashamed that there's no trick you won't cover.
Phoebus, eat plenty of greens and take purgative herbs,
For you grimace like one who shits rock-solid turds.
A SECOND CAREER?
Diaulus was a doctor, but his practice faltered;
An undertaker now, his service hasn’t altered.
LICK AND LEARN
Gongylion, what news does your slut have to spout?
I don't mean your mistress, I mean your mouth.
Once poor, your life will always be a bitch,
For wealth today goes only to the rich.
You’re no debtor, Sextus, we have to say,
For a debtor, Sextus, is one who can pay.
You ask why Eunuchs engage your wife?
She wants lots of sex, not kids, in her life.
A DOG’S BEST FRIEND
Your pup licks your lips with his little tongue.
It’s no wonder, since dogs are so fond of dung.
A USELESS PRECAUTION
Why crucify your slave when his tongue's cut out?
Know what he can't mention, others noise about.
NO FEE, NO FUCK
Though old and ugly you seek a free lay.
Fool:you're willing to put out but not to pay.
A MISPLACED MUFFLER
When you recite, our ears would be more apt
For that woolen scarf in which your neck is wrapped!