It’s been so long since you last achieved erection;
No matter how you struggle, there’s no exception.
Aphrodisiacs don’t help at all:
No vegetable concoction prevents that fall.
Now virgin cheeks succumb to your riches,
But that goad too leaves you limp in your britches.
Who could believe or accept such a shift:
That you pay to stiffen and instead get stiffed?
Martial III, lxxv