You prate of hirsute thinkers of every kind—
Of every one a tarnished statue brings to mind—
As if Pythagoras had deemed you heir;
You certainly sport the proper facial hair.
But, to the shame of your goatish and hairy “class,”
You gladly show a rough beard on your soft ass.
So tell me, of the many doctrines you espouse,
Which one prevails upon the buggers you arouse.
Martial, IX, xlvii