Repurposed: Free-Standing Bathtub with Lion’s Feet
When flipped, this charming, enamel-coated bathtub becomes a cozy/sturdy cast-iron structure used to shield two married persons from outside assailants who threaten to dissolve the nuptial bond by hurling small objects of destruction, such as tightly-packed snowballs and handheld explosives. The drain-hole, offset in the roof of the structure, can be opened to let in a small amount of natural light, while simultaneously providing an avenue of escape for cooking smoke, cigarette smoke, and fragments of speech (i.e. pleas for peace/relief) directed toward the assailants and/or God. Though a rare occurrence, it sometimes happens that a child is conceived, carried to term, and successfully birthed during an extended period of hunkering down. In these unfortunate cases, it is not unusual for the child to take its first wobbly steps between 18 and 25 years of age. Such a child, once emancipated, will cautiously emerge from the compact family structure (into total and horrifying brightness) with pronounced curvature of the spine. Corrective surgery is strongly recommended, though the standard back brace, customarily used to treat scoliosis, will modestly increase verticality over time. However, if the problem is ignored and the condition left entirely untreated, the child will continue to walk hunched over, as if hinged at the belly, affecting the posture of a broken individual.