The main concept of our store is open concepts. I am thinking of pants, shirts, skirts, socks, shoes and underwear. You will not believe this new store. It’s unbelievable.

Hybrid mental discourse is the fabric of the future. It is flexible shiny and has retroactive capacities in relation to revisionist attitudes towards women’s roles in culture. I have no idea whether this makes any sense, but I am convinced that I can determine the course of almost everything without moving my lips. I have smelled your philosophy wherever battery re-chargers are sold and I know I am telling the truth. I have spread noxczema all over my husband’s buttocks in hopes of reviving his love for me and the viable options it once insinuated, in terms of level-headedness….but now I am left with nothing, save his cooled-down buttocks, which are unfortunately of no use to me due to the unpredictable trends within the soft-core porn industry. Who knew?

We are all feeling the same way: tired of rough-hewn, single-breasted battery-operated suits which allow no movement of the arms or legs. It’s time for a new uniform.

That’s why we’re here, a new intellectual store.

Some have stated that personality is no longer a priority for the fluid enactment of will upon the visible world. You have enacted the most bland ideas upon my palms, so I can understand this new attitude of our popular culture. If you are willing, please replace this with other ideas you may have held onto out of sentimentality. If your parents are badgering you, it is not because you are behaving wrongly; your parents are merely frightened of the newness which confronts their houses on a daily basis, threatening to remove critical commentary from the arena of public discourse. You know that. Please replace yourself with me.

I am tired of these debates. Please come to my new store.