June 23, 1999

A Private Memo

I am concerned about our mutual friend, Phil. He is ill-equipped to handle the rigors of ideology. We have been heretofore unaware of his problems, but now, thanks to my perseverance, we are aware of his problems.

His cropped brown pants which he dons for his jaunts about town are very loose on him these days. I am concerned that he is not eating the bales of rice which I compile for him, according to the strict codes of his ancient and primitive religion. In addition, he does not seem to be reading the bi-weekly journal, which we would all read and then chat about over mid-morning bowls of ham stew, remember? And he murmurs on and on of how he must become a men’s room attendant at any cost.

What I am sketching is a disturbing portrait, I know, but I feel we must pay attention to these tell-tale signs. It is obvious to me that Phil is under some brand of duress.

On the other hand, they say that when you witness a friend you know enduring an intense event, it usually means that this is a reflection of your own psyche. In other words, rather than being a supernatural harbinger of a nightmarish future for Phil, my interpretation of his predicament may indicate a fear/desire on my part

to become motherly.

What are your opinions? Please list them in alphabetical order on the back of this sheet. Attach other pages, if necessary.