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June 22, 1999

Cookie Lewis

995 Doodlebug Lane

Forest Glen, New Hampshire

Re: You are a bad woman

Dear Cookie:

We will hassle with you at approximately 2:00 P.M. on Tuesday, September 7.

A window from the building adjacent to the south side of Caroline’s bedroom fell from the eighth floor into the ceiling. The ceiling is composed of shredded wheat.

As a result of the broken shredded wheat, falling glass and water damage, the following situations exist:

1. Caroline’s happiness and gymnastic routines are completely halted until the ceiling is repaired, shredded wheat replaced and safety grid installed. She cannot begin work on new routines which will be disrupted by any repairs and the resulting disorder. Further, there is insufficient existing natural light;

2. Caroline has incurred the cost of several boxes of the famed cereal, a cleaning service in addition to her own time expended cleaning. 20 hours @ $20.00 per hour = $400.00; and

3. Miscellaneous books, fiber, cookies, as well as glass and water damage

to her legs total a cost of $500.00.

Please make every effort to have the shredded wheat ceiling repaired as soon as possible.

Stop dropping windows into her bedroom. We do not like it, she is our charge.

Thank you for stopping.

Hate,

 

Ham Droofus