It’s not funny anymore

June 22, 1999

To: Bob

From: Terence

Re: Our concerns that harm is no longer funny

Dear Bob:

In regards to harm, I feel uncomfortable, with a sense of mixed-upness and regret all in one.

We have all experienced harm, whether on the giving or receiving end. Most concepts function in that respect, i.e. one doles out a concept to one’s fellow man and, in turn, one is the recipient of either its fresh or rotten fruits, depending on the nature of the aforementioned ‘concept’. For myself, I like concepts very much.

Without exception, I am concerned about the effects of harm on today’s youth.

I and my action committee entitled HARM (so named to bring awareness to this concept) are dedicated to alleviating the below listed effects of harm in our culture. I impress upon you that after much study, several polls and questionnaires, not to mention the patient application of various balms and salves, we have determined that these are indeed the leading effects which cause the most concern for harm:

1. Electrical failures. These seem to occur when harm has been perpetrated on between one and three individuals simultaneously.

2. Swelling and redness. Occurs during harm as enacted upon children and pets.

3. Fissures. Both geologic and anal. Occurs when harm is insistent and selective; usually males.

Well, I hope this is enough proof for you and your family of the dangers of harm.

If you feel you can help, please help. The best way to help is by joining a branch of our elite task force in your neighborhood and eliminate harm!!! Get energized!!!!!