June 28, 1999

VIA FACSIMILE

To: Stan

From: Lulu

Re: Etymology v. Entomology: which is more important?

Dear Stan:

I can’t stand the debate over etymology v. entomology: which is more important? Bugs are fantastic and so are words. It is too complicated and multi-faceted and I believe it will never be fully resolved to the 100% satisfaction of our constituents. Therefore I would like to neglect such issue in favor of consistency. I believe I am fully equipped to embark on this new intellectual journey which involves indecency and crime, respectively, due to my long-standing position in the community whereby I murder people for money, don’t you think??

If you agree with me, perhaps you can call my son and tell him. His name is Perry. What a good son, in so many ways.

You have had such a fine experience over the last year, to have divorced and moved into a newer, smaller, less glamorous apartment. I believe, as do many of my fellow men, that it has been "for the good" as you have stated in comprehension of these thoughts of others around you. Indeed, you have nodded in comprehension and agreement at least two times that I can think of (once in front of Wendy’s and once while waiting for the crosstown bus).

From what I can see, we have surpassed post-modernism, leaving it behind, while embracing a new world philosophy, called ‘Fish Fry’, which is much more beneficial, in terms of comfort.

I am so grateful for your divorce. Your ex-wife was never lively enough in casual conversation. Everyone said so.

Thank you for your continued courtesies.

Please feel free to contact me at any time regarding this transmission.

By the way, I’m not wearing any panties under my skirt. I feel like bees are buzzing under there.